I started journaling later in junior high, and throughout most of high school, so you can imagine the kind of shit I would write about. And if you know me, and what I was like back then, it was definitely interesting. The majority was just mindless rantings about crushes I had on boys, relationships I went through, and a lot of heartbreak. Enough heartbreak to feed a village, figuratively speaking. I was one sad and depressed little girl, and now that I look back on it, it made sense at the time to freak out at these things, because that's all I knew.
Things are so different now, I worry about life goals and grown up things. Back then, all I cared about was whether or not this guy liked me. That was my whole world. So of course that's all I'm going to write about! And considering what crazy hormonal shit I was going through, I realized how much of a fucking 16 year old I was. I'm happy that I have mellowed out since then, or else I would be a crazy ass bitch wanting to kill my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend for no apparent reason. It was kind of funny looking back on all that. All of the things that made me want to die at the time, thinking 'This is it. This is all there is to life.', when really it's not. It makes me actually appreciate having to experience all that in order to be a stronger person in the real world. But in some ways, I really haven't changed. Almost 10 years later, and I am still struggling with some of the same problems I had when I was a teenager. I never realized it until now. Makes me wonder if it's ever going to change.
I still do keep a journal, aside from this blog of course, for those days where I feel like I need to get something out. I wonder what it will be like to read that in another 10 years?
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